Today I got a letter from Peter Popoff Ministries. I have taken pictures of everything and will include some of the highlights for you below.
The opening line of the first page is “Ronald, our prayer center received your prayer request, and I have been praying on your behalf non-stop for you to be blessed with money to pay off all debts ever since I got your name.”
I find it hard to believe the Peter Popoff himself has been praying non-stop for me since April 22. I doubt he has taken time out of his busy schedule to spend four days in prayer for me. Seriously, non-stop? Wait what if he got my name and request thirty-seconds before ordering the form letter sent out. Those thirty seconds could be considered “non-stop since he got my name.”
The letter goes on to say “God showed me some of the “HARD THINGS” you are now dealing with.” I hope God showed him my busy writing schedule for my Doctoral Thesis.
There is a warning not to open the sealed envelope that came with this letter. I have to read more sales pitch before I can do that.
The second page of the letter tells me that “In the spirit, I feel you are about to witness an unprecedented miracle as you follow divine leading and direction. I’m even given a date when the miraculous will begin: July 15, 2019.
Popoff reassures me that the Grace and Favor of God have been restored to me BUT, We must work to restore the power, peace, health, and prosperity that Satan has stolen from me. I wonder what work I must do? I’m guessing I need to plant some seeds!
Popoff also sees in the spirit “7 Secret Prophetic Events” that are on the verge of unfolding in my life. Here are the “7Secret Prophecies.”
- During the next few weeks, I will receive between $1,900 and $19,000. I wonder how much I have to plant to receive this? I’m guessing it will be $19. That’s an easily obtainable amount for a person in debt, and it lines up with a hundred-fold or thousand-fold return. Let’s wait and see . . . there are four pages to the sales pitch.
- I will have a dramatic turn of events in my life. I doubt it; I’m so over drama.
Moving on to page three . . .
- Something or someone that causes fear in my life will be removed. (If Donald Trump gets impeached I’ll be a BIG TIME BELIEVER)
- My guiding document is the book of James. Popoff uses James 1:5 and James 1:17 out of context to show that If you ask, God will give.
The last three prophecies can’t be revealed. Not yet! Now is my time to open the sealed envelope. I’m to take the Miracle Spring Water and place it by my bed tonight only. Then to qualify for a blessing, according to Luke 6:38, I have to plant a seed of $19.00! (Man I must have a gift of prophecy!!!)
The Bible verse quoted is “give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.” I’ve blogged before how this verse is taken out of context by seed faith preachers.
The explanation for the $19 dollar seed and he tells me to send exactly that amount, is because the number 1 is the Father’s number and the number 9 is the Father’s number of the new birth. (???) That’s news to me, and I’ve done research on numbers in the Bible.
Onward to page 4 . . .
By the way, I have opened the sealed envelope, removed the letter of instructions and place the “Miracle Spring Water” by my bed as instructed.
Page four tells me to follow all the directions, and I will receive secret prophecies 5-7 and a reserved copy of the book “MIRACLE MONEY FROM UNEXPECTED SOURCES.”
I wonder if it is some kind of pyramid scheme. Watch for chain letters in your email inbox.
All four pages are full of pre-printed underlining and scribbled notes that are supposed to make it look like Popoff has added personal text to my form letter.
Inside the sealed envelope was the “Miracle Spring Water” and instructions to:
- Lay the “Miracle Spring Water” next to the bed and first thing in the morning I am to drink it. I’m told “As you do this, every cell and fiber of your being will be saturated with the awesome power and anointing of Almighty God. I’m just hoping the water was filtered.
- I have to claim the miracles I need This, of course, provides a nice cop out if miracles don’t happen. I didn’t follow instructions and claim my miracle with enough faith.
- Send my prayer request with my Best gift to God. I’ a little afraid to do this because I was told to send exactly $19 and I don’t want to mess it up. If I send more, doesn’t that mean I didn’t follow directions, and I won’t get my miracle?
The back side of the instruction page reassures me that no matter how bad my situation, I’m being prayed for and God will get me through. There is a form to fill out with my prayer request. I’m to confirm my address, and I’ll be sent the free book. Again I’m reminded to send $19 or another amount.
There’s a place for a special prayer need; I’m tempted to write “Unspoken” That should get some imaginations running wild.
On the return envelope, there’s a message that says to use a stamp if I can afford it, if not the ministry will pay postage.
So let’s see, there is a complicated list of instructs that must be followed exactly. One instruction I found interesting was that after drinking the “Miracle Spring Water,” I was to sign an enclosed sticker and put it on the empty packet of water and send it back to him. (With my seed of course) This would let him know I followed the directions and was taking this seriously. It sounds to me like it’s a compliance test to see how I respond to his suggestions and commands. There’s also plenty of “outs” if the miracle fails to appear. I didn’t follow the instructions, I didn’t claim my miracle, and something dramatic happening can mean anything.
I feel like I have gathered my spell components, I’m following a complicated ritual, I even have the words I must proclaim. Should I roll a D20? (Your welcome D&D nerds.)
Let’s see what happens . . .
I’ll keep you updated, and we can check in on the July 15th date.
Until then, I predict a second request for a bigger seed to show how much I really have faith.
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