Wow, I’ve been so serious lately. Time to take a break and flashback to my early childhood. My teachers at my private Christian school policed our joke telling and this list of bad Bible puns is what passed for high comedy back in my day. Each of these stinkers is Fundagelical approved so go ahead and tell them because Jesus won’t smite you but your friends might.

Starting at the bottom and working up to the worst Bible pun,

When did they play tennis in the Bible?  When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

For my purist out there, that’s Genesis 41:46. If you have to look it up, it means you didn’t go to Sunday School as a child.

How does Moses make his coffee?  Hebrews it.

As long as he doesn’t drink it from a Starbucks’ “war on Christmas” cup this joke is sermon ready.

What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?  Floodlights.

I guess they were powered by electric eels.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

Ummm, wouldn’t he have said it one day before Kislev 27?

And the worst Bible pun ever?

Wait for it . . .

It’s time for number

Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? He just knew there was something fishy about it.

This post was guest written by one of my inner children. My inner soccer mom is not amused. I’ll return to the more serious stuff if I manage to work the giggles out.