I read a lot of religious websites. Sometimes, you just fall down a rabbit hole. I stumble on stuff that makes me go WTF! Today’s little piece of Fundagelical weirdness comes from a Website called Dreams of Dunamis In a post dated Oct 1, 2013, the writer explains how to remove demonic doorways and demons from your home. The writer recommends the following be removed from your home:

Playing cards – The basic deck of playing cards (some have reported problems with these – especially when used for gambling,) Dark Pokemon cards, Digimon, Yugioh, Magic: The Gathering, tarot cards.

Posters of stars: For example, Marilyn Monroe and other movie stars, rock bands, athletes, etc. (They can help form unholy soul ties to the person on the poster. The owner of the poster can start to suffer the same problems that the star suffered from, such as drugs, unhealthy relationships, broken marriages, etc.)

Holiday items and holidays: Christmas items – including tree-shaped candy bars, decorated Christmas trees, Valentine’s & hearts, Cupid, Easter items, Easter egg candies, Halloween decorations, Halloween toys, Easter rabbits, elves, Santa, and reindeer, etc.. These holidays are from the Mithra religion, (and other pagan religions,) and are not from biblical Christianity.

Toys: He-man, She-Ra, Smurfs, care bears, cabbage patch dolls, the Joker character from Batman, teenage mutant ninja turtles, dolls – especially cabbage patch dolls, troll dolls, some Barbie dolls, Brat dolls, toy voodoo dolls, and puppets, big bird from the Sesame Street program (other characters may be good to avoid from that show as well,) Teletubbies, gremlins, rainbow bright, sprites, elves, punk rock dolls, go-bots.

Other items: Candles – especially colored ones. Emergency candles and tea lights we have seen less oppression from. (This was a hard one for me to give up, for I love my candles! But it did stop the demons from attacking my kids whenever they were lit. Olive oil candles are a good substitute.) Frogs, Nike label, bells, items autographed by someone famous, Fleur–de–Lis, the distelfink goldfinch bird, cornucopias, caduceus the winged wand of mercury (doctor’s symbol,) magic 8 ball, Sara Coventry jewelry (which started out as ‘Sara’s coven jewelry’,) and her eyeglass frames or other items, Pythagorean items, fez hats, Mardi Gras items, aliens, some UFO photos, masks – especially ones used in rituals or ceremonies, Alienware computers – the ones with the face of an alien lit up on its cover, (covering up the alien face made the demons stop coming out,) hard or soft pornography, and sometimes even an item of clothing you used to wear before you became a believer.

I wonder what exactly the writer has left in their home after all this stuff is removed. Fundagelicals love them some demonology. When they aren’t being attacked during the Culture War by Starbucks cups, they are being attacked on the spiritual realm by demons lurking in used clothing.

All of this is just using fear to make a buck. Books on demonology, Videos, home exorcism kits, special oils, and prayers or a visit from an experienced exorcist can all be bought for a few shekels. Too many people fall for this kind of thing. You can even attend online courses or go to live seminars and become an exorcist yourself.

Perhaps the weirdest thing I found falling down this rabbit hole was this gem:

CLEANSE YOUR HOME BY READING SCRIPTURE OUT LOUD IN IT while walking through the rooms of your home. Psalm 91 was used by the Old Testament priests to dispel any evil spirits from the temple courts. It still works just as well for this today in homes!

PLEASE NOTE: When we have tried to use the NIV Bible to cast out demons, it has taken much longer to get rid of them. When we use the KJV or the Geneva 1599 version, they leave right away without any arguing or stalling. So we personally recommend using the King James Version or the 1599 Geneva version

Apparently, demons are Bible snobs. Who knew? I can just imagine two demons talking to each other,

Azeroth: Hey someone is using the demon-go-away-spell from Psalm 91, should we leave?

Tigon: Nah, it’s The Message version, wait until she gets the Geneva 1599 version.

Azeroth: Original or modern spelling restoration version of 2006?

Tigon: I’m a bit of a purist, so I only leave for the original.

Azeroth: Well I don’t know about you, but I’m moving into that Teletubbies in the kid’s room.

Tigon: Not me. If I go, I’m holding out for that sweet Magic 8 Ball. I’ve always wanted to upgrade and become a spirit of divination. See ya around.

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